i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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