I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
