so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
