I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
