im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
