sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
