It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
