the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
