just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
