I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
