Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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