Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
