i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
