On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
