last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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