He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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