But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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