butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
