you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
