Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
