We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
