Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
