there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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