i think my tv is drunk
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
