I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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