What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
