found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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