I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
