Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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