Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
