I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize