now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
