Dual....:-)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
