All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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