Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
