Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
