You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
And then he peed in my hair
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