This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize