Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
