bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
