no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
