I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
