i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
