i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize