Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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