What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
