ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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