If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
