Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
