Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
