We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
