I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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