Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
