So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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