Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Randomize
