So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
