Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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